Insomnia Vol. 4

What if I’m not valuable enough?

what if I indeed do not add

anything new

anything valuable

anything at all

but stand in the middle

of the circle

searching to be heard

searching to be admired

just to be look

just to be look at

not seen through.

what if I’m to put

more effort

than the last time

with all my strength

one that takes all my breath away

what if it is my laziness that keeps me away

and yet I

found proudness in saying

I have done it all

that I have done the best that I could

adopting nonchalance

when in the bottom of my heart

I care so much.

what is the point

at the end of the day

to keep speaking

with not validation?

what is the point of anything of all

for not to excel

not to be admired

to be held to the highest standard

and have the attention.

what else could be the motivation

than power

than attention

than the very human nature

that makes everything

miserable.

To not achieve

the unarchivable

in a world with far too

much competition

or perhaps excuses

distractions

but few

so few

achievements

—M. E.